Can we say self-serving!?!

So I was wondering what happened to the part of the church that is supposed to be outreach oriented. I didn't realize that we were supposed to sit back and stuff ourselves so much that we can't even get up from the table!! What causes this rant? Nothing new, nothing that most other leaders have not encountered at some point or another. A large church, spoiled youth, and no dependable adults. Yet somehow the youth department(which doesn't consist of much) is supposed to turn these young adults into something different than their predecessors. I thought I knew this full well when I took on the part, but sitting on a mound of junk in the middle of a storage room hiding from the young people outside the door I cried as I thought about how unfair it is for them and those of us trying to make some kind of difference. They don't understand my frustration because they are only following suit. I don't understand why any age person does not have something innate in them that aspires to be more than ordinary. Everyone has great advice about how to handle all this, but none of those voices come with helping hands. For those of you who might actually take the time to read this...thanks for the opportunity to vent.

Growing Pains

William Faulkner once said that "the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself." So that is where I start from. Life teaches us well I suppose. Some lessons are much harder than others. Some leave us feeling lower than we ever thought we could be...and in those very moments we find a grace stronger than we know how to resist. In the middle of the confusion that comes from a hurting heart and swollen eyes I reminded the Lord how unworthy I was of Him loving me. His response was "Let me hold you." In all of my stubborness I said "no, that kind of love I do not deserve." But with a pursuing kind of love...He sat with me until I could do nothing else but fall into the arms of a love that is relentless. I guess it is the most painful moments, where we find our souls laid bare before him, that He teaches us some of the greatest lessons of grace,mercy, and friendship that we may ever know. He is faithful to find us where we are, even when our prayers are so soft that they are barley audible.
I hope I never get over how amazing God's grace truly is. Growing is painful but His nearness brings healing-even if it sometimes seems slow.