But, along with all this change there's been a lot of questions whirling around in my head and weighing on my heart. Like why does God seem so silent? When is He going to show me just a glimpse of what to do next? Exactly how far reaching is His grace?...Especially when you boldly tell Him you're going to do your own thing even though His word says its wrong? How is that my faith is so weak and my disbelief and doubt so quick after years of His proven faithfulness?
Crazy huh?! I started reading this book last week titled the "The deity formerly known as God". Im aware that some of my perceptions of God are off. For example, I think alot about how Mighty God is and just, and my mind has a hard time wrapping itself around the fact that a God like that can love me past everything wrong in me. Yet in the silence and midst of my darkest defeat, I somehow am realizing that He is trying to show me and tell me that He does delight in me. Anyway, God has been using this book over the past week to challenge me to think about Him in different ways. Right now, Im reading the Scriptures over again attempting to keep those more constructive images of Him in mind. If you haven't read the book, you should get a copy!
Oh well, that's about it for now. Crazy times! Just waiting and seeing what He does.
