Rewind

My second job is good, but it's a bit boring sometimes.  I just sit at a table by myself and radio when parents come in.  And since I love music I thought I would take all my favorite lines from this past year and recap the whole year.  It may be a little silly, but at least it entertained me.  

So here they are, last year's soundtrack for(of) life: 

I'd like to know if You'd be willing to start over from scratch?  This is the good life, I lost everything.  Who Knew?  All at once the world can overwhelm you.  I'm not alright, I'm broken inside.  Lie to me once again and tell me it'll be alright.  I see your true colors cause inside your ugly, ugly like me.  All summer long.  By Your side.  Here's to the nights we felt alive and the tears you knew you'd cry.  More than a feeling.  Dream on.  Gotta wake, wake up the world.  Shake it like an earthquake.  I can't wait to see you again.  Love addict.  Your beautiful.  Cause I am vindicated I am selfish I am wrong.  Hope dangles on a string.  I love the rain.  That's me in the spotlight losing my religion.  Life's like an hour glass glued to the table.  Cradle your head in your hands girl.  Why am I ten feet under and upside down.  I don't think I can fake another hollow smile.  You wanna make a memory?  I held on cause I was already gone.  Leave the memories alone.  There's just too much that time cannot heal.  All that I feel is the realness I'm fakin.  I'm holding on with a broken heart that's still beating.  Bind my wandering heart to Thee.  You are my healer.  You hold my world in Your hands.  Have your way.  Wash away the part of me that gets in the way.  It's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light.  And all I want is you.

The End.

Christmas Eve

It was 6:24 and christmas eve mass started at 6:30. I stared out my car window at the torrential downpour wondering why in the world I can't keep an umbrella and praying for a blip in the rain. A very disoriented and somewhat incoherent prayer clumsily tumbled out of my mouth through alot of frustration and fist on the steering wheel. With tears running down my face I was almost afraid I was about to have one of those Job moments where God firmly asks, "Where in the world were you when I made the Heavens. Maybe you should tell me how this is suppose to work!?!" I sat back and feared the worst, afraid that my prayer had been a bit too brazen. (as though I can really hide what I'm the thinking from the omniscient!)

Anyway, the rain let up and I walked in a bit late, offending a few because I did not know to cross myself with 'holy water'. I have always wanted to see what a catholic service was like and can't remember ever going to church to actually celebrate Christmas. Imagine that?! Overall, I think I "faked" being catholic pretty well. I made it through most of the recitations and everything good enough and got the hang of how and when to cross myself. However, the genuflecting (though I knew what it was) caught me by suprise. Needless to say there were a few times I was the last one down and the last one up. It's not like they tell you when to do these things :)

Several people laughingly asked me later if I actually got anything out of the service. Im certain they expected me to say no, nor were they interested in the answer. Especially since they did not forsee it being yes. The whole thing was a bit solemn, but what I was really taken by was their extreme reverence for the Scriptures. The crossing and genuflecting every time the Word of God was spoken. Maybe we don't stop enough to think about the fact we are holding and reading a truly living and eternal word handed down from God the Father Almighty. With that in mind, I wondered how often my spirit 'man' pauses and geneuflects not only in reverence, but in obedience to what is asked of me in these Holy Scriptures.

So, in the end, I didn't exactly have a Job moment, but I was somewhat embarrassed and ashamed by my audacity an hour earlier that I would dare to shake my fist at the Heavens and doubt and yell at such a magnificient and sovereign God. Now I'm not saying we shouldn't pray honest prayers, but just maybe sometimes a little more genuflecting and a little less ranting might do us protestants some good.

Just a little lesson learned from the Catholic church...